Note/L10N/Verona_House_Bloodlines/12/Books/VHQ6Journal?
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原文 †
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The guards brought me a cake today. It was to celebrate the 35th year of my reign over my kingdom. They call it Sanderion's Folly. I call it hell. Of course it was like all things an elaborate joke. I do not fool myself. I do not rule here. How could I when I cannot leave this wing of the castle. I am a prisoner. And of course I did not get to eat the cake. It was after all made with human blood. <br>
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I will need to be quick. I am being punished. I tried to escape again last night. The guards had become lax, and I managed to pick the lock of my quarters. I made it as far as the castle courtyard. But the daedra that guard the external city drove me back. I ended up throwing myself on the mercy of my Vampire guards. <br>
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I am sure that many will think that I deserve the fate I am experiencing. I am among them. I have been over those events so often. I recall vividly my first meeting with Garn Vulna. I will not call him Lord. Of course it was not a true meeting. I had used Berunda's disguise potion. Why did she choose not to reveal the nature of those visions. I no of course that image I saw was a false one. Human, young and so very charming. His argument for the rights of vampires was so persuasive. I admit I was fooled by him <br>
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I have been punished for my escape attempt. They have taken away my furnishings; luckily I managed to hide the journal in a floor space, but I have no doubt that like the others I have written they will find this. They will laugh at my expense and no doubt I will be whipped and tortured. In fact I am counting on it.
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I cannot die. My guards take delight in this. They can bleed me with immunity. They can whip and beat me. Burn me, cut me, and I heal. But I feel every cut, every stab, every wound.
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I kept taking the potion and I keep meeting Vulna. I often ask myself, did I continue to use the potion so I could talk to him. I found the conversations dazzling and enlightening. We talked of ancient lore and the state of the nation. We talk most of all about immortality. Over time I began to tease from him his secret. I keep it now. It is my only bargaining chip.
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I wish to die. Once again I have been told of the death of my son, Marimar. It is not the first time that they have told me tales of his death. It is one of their favorite cruelties. The claim that he had become a pirate, and was executed in Anvil square for his crimes. The last time they told me he had been killed trying to reach me here in the castle and that the Daedra had hung his body up for the birds to feast on. Tomorrow or next week they will tell me some tale of Marimar's success. He is on the Elder Council but has renounced his family name. I know they are lies but I would rather face a thousand lashes that that one cruel cut.
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Do you have recurring dreams? I do. The same dream over and over again. I am back in Silverhome awaiting the arrival of the Night Brethren agent. But, instead of the near desolate bar it is crowded. Everyone I knew and loved is there and each turn to me a shake their heads. I hear their whispers. Traitor!
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Today was a good day. I made it as far as the wood section of the Harbor town district before I was captured. For a few brief minutes I tasted freedom. One of the houses was open and I managed to hide out. I was eventually tracked down, but it has given me hope. I will pay for this.
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What would it cost for you to sell your soul? Vulna promised me that he would not kill any of Berunda's party. He merely wanted to acquaint them with the Vampire issue as he saw it. He convinced me that he wished to create peace between the Vampires and the untouched as he called them. He wished to establish research to create a universal cure, and I believed him. Of course I did what I did for profit, but I extracted that promise first. He would not harm any of the Night Hunters. And for myself. Immortality and a city to rule. I was young and such notions held great sway with me. So here I am. Immortal, as long as I remain here in my gilded prison
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It has been three weeks since my last entry. I have been tortured beyond pain. I cannot even bring myself to write of the horrors I endured. But through it all I kept repeating a simple mantra. I will escape, I will wither, and I will die.
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I HAVE FOUND THIS JOURNAL HIDDEN IN THE TRAITORS ROOM. I AM SENDING IT TO ANIN SULLIA FOR PROCESSING. THE TRAITOR WILL BE PUNISHED SEVERELY FOR THIS CRIME. I AM CONCERNED ABOUT THE IMAGE AT THE BEGINNING. IT MAY SIMPLY BE AN ABSTRACT DRAWING OR IT MAY HOLD MORE SIGNIFICANCE
訳文 †
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今日、看守がケーキを持ってきた。我が王国の統治35周年を祝うと。彼らはSanderion's_Follyと呼び、私は地獄と呼ぶ。勿論、手の込んだ冗談だ。私は馬鹿ではない。ここを治めてなぞいない。この城の一画から離れることすら出来ないのにどうして統治などと。私は囚人だ。ケーキを食べたりしない。当たり前だ。それは隅から隅まで人の血で作られていた。<br>
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必要なのは機敏さだ。私は罰を受けている。昨夜、再び逃走を試みた。看守は弛んでる。どうにか私室の鍵を開け、城の中庭までたどり着いた。だが、都市の外周部を守るDaedraに後退を余儀なくされた。結局、吸血鬼の看守たちの情けに縋る結果になった。<br>
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多くの者は私が経験している運命が妥当なものだと考えているに違いなかろう。私もそう思う一人だ。時折、ここに至った経緯を思い出す。Garn_Vulnaとの最初の出会いは鮮明だ。私は彼を主と呼ぶ気はない。実際に会ったわけでもない。私はBerundaの偽装薬を使った。何故彼女はあの幻視効果について明かさないほうを選んだのか。勿論、私が目にしたイメージは虚像などではない。人間だ、若くてとても魅力的な。吸血鬼の権利に関する彼の主張は説得力に満ちたものだった。私は彼に弄ばれたのを認める。<br>
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脱出を試み罰を受けた。家具類を取り上げられた。幸運にも床下に日記を隠す事が出来た。他に綴ったもの同様、いずれはこれも見つかるだろう。彼らは私の損失を嘲笑い、鞭で打ち、拷問するのは疑いようもない。実際、今だってそうだ。
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私は死ぬことが出来ない。看守はそれを楽しんでる。血を搾り取り、鞭打ち、殴ることも出来る。焼き、切り裂き、そして私は回復する。だが、私は感じるのだ、切られる痛みを、殴られる痛みを、全ての痛みを。
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私は服用を続け、Vulnaに会い続ける。しばしば自問する。私は彼と話す為に薬を使い続けたのか。対話は圧倒的かつ明瞭だった。我々は古の知識や国家の状況について話し合った。中でも多かったのは不死に関してだ。時と共に私は彼の秘密をせがむようになっていった。今は私が持っている。唯一の切り札だ。
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私は死にたい。再び息子、Marimarの死を聞かされた。連中が彼の死を告げたのはこれが初めてではない。お気に入りの虐待の一つだ。海賊になり、その罪でAnvilの広場で処刑されたそうだ。その前は私を追ってきてこの城で殺され、Daedraが鳥の餌にするために彼の骸を吊しただったか。明日は、でなけば来週にはMarimarの出世話でもする気だろう。彼は評議会に籍を置いてるが、姓は捨てたとか。みんな嘘つきだと知ってはいても、そんなイジメ一つより千の鞭打ちのほうがずっとありがたい。
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繰り返される夢を見たことは？私はある。幾度も幾度も同じ夢を。そこに戻る、Night_Brethrenのエージェントの到着を待つBravilの宿へ。寂れた酒場の代わりに人が群がってる。皆、私が知っている者、私が愛していた人々。彼らは一斉に振り返り、囁くのだ。裏切者と！
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今日は素晴らしい日だった。捕らわれる前にHarbor_Townの木造区域まで辿り着いた。ほんの僅かな時間だったが、自由を味わったのだ。一軒だけ開いており、身を隠すことが出来た。結局は見つかったが、それは希望を与えてくれた。このツケは大きい。
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人は魂を売るとき何を犠牲にするのか？VulnaはBerundaのパーティを誰も殺さないと私に約束した。彼は自分で言っていたように、ただヴァンパイヤ問題を皆に伝えたいだけだと。皆を招いたのはヴァンパイヤとナチュラルの間に平和を築く為と私を説得した。彼は普遍的な治療法の確立が望みであり、私はそれを信じた。勿論、私は自身の利益ありきで行動し、最初にその約束を引き出した。彼はNight_Hunterの誰にも危害を加えないはず。私の為にもなる。不死と都市の支配。私は若く、そんな考えに大きく揺らいだ。結果、ここにいる。死は訪れない、この贅沢な牢獄にある限り。
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最後に付けてから三週経ってる。苦痛を越える拷問を受けた。私が耐えた恐怖については書く気にもならない。私はその間中、ただ題目を唱え続けた。逃げたい、朽ちたい、死にたいと。
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裏切者の部屋にこの日記が隠されていたのを発見いたしました。Anin_Sulliaに処理をお任せします。裏切者はこの罪により重い罰を受けるでしょう。気に掛かるのは最初の頁の図案です。単に抽象的な図なのか、あるいはより重要な意味があるやもしれません。
